Widow Maker

None of my doctors have ever used the term "widow maker" because doctors don't like to scare their patients. Instead they just told me that my blockage was in the LAD or left anterior descending artery. I, of course, did a google search for LAD blockage a few weeks after my heart attack. This is the first time I saw the term "widow maker." Let me just say that reading about it is far scarier than the term itself. I am going to give you a brief over view of that artery, what it does, and why it is so dangerous. This is just based on research that I have done myself.

There are three arteries that run over the surface of the heart and supply it with blood. There is one on the right side and two on the left. The one on the right side is the right coronary. On the left there is the left anterior descending and the left circumflex. The left anterior descending supplies the front and mail wall of the heart and the left circumflex supplies the side. So when there is a blockage in the beginning of the LAD it cuts off blood flow to the rest of the artery. That means that the whole front wall of the heart is cut off from it's blood supply. As far as heart attacks go, that is the big one.

From what I have read, when there is a blockage in an artery, the heart muscle stops working within minutes. If the blood flow is not restored within minutes to hours, the muscle typically dies. Now that being said, I did not have the blockage removed for almost 24 hours after the onset of symptoms. Luckily, my blockage was smaller. The doctor never gave me an exact percentage of the blockage, but we know it wasn't a complete block. If it had been, I probably wouldn't be here right now. In fact, most people don't even make it to the hospital with that type of blockage. They just suddenly die. The survival rate for a "widow maker" is only 5-10%. That means that only one out of every ten people that suffer that heart attack survives. To say that I am lucky is an understatement.

I know that I am lucky. I don't always feel that way, but I am. Since December I have just been trying to get my mind around what happened. It is not easy to describe how my life has changed. Almost everything about me has changed. Not always for the better either. I am trying really hard to focus on living and enjoying every moment, but the fear that I have developed can sometimes be paralyzing. I am trying to conquer as many fears as I can. Almost dying at 33 definitely threw me for a loop. Once the initial shock wore off, the fear settled in. It is hard to explain, but I am afraid of the most average things that most people don't even think about.

I was afraid to drive for the longest time. I made my husband drive me around a lot. I eventually made myself drive again. I have almost been in a few accidents (people pulling out in front of me or running stop signs) and it makes me not want to drive again, but than I realize that I am not going to be any safer with someone else driving and I suck it up. If you let fear determine what you do in life, you won't do anything. I have discovered so many things to be scared of and most of the time there is nothing you can do to make it less scary. You can face those fears head on or you can let the fear take over. I am choosing to face my fear and by doing so I hope to get back to having a normal life.

If anyone is interested in learning more about the widow maker follow this link:
http://myheart.net/articles/the-widowmaker/